The official zombie apocalypse thread

[:1]Might as well have fun with this...

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You just heard it on the news, there are zombies, and they are spreading. Youtube shows videos of people killing zombies, there is no hint that blood splatter spreads contagion. Fox News says that the zombies have a liberal agenda.

It's not yet clear how bad it will get... but now is a good time to get prepared for the worse. There are even reports of zombie sights in your neighborhood. So far, there is no indication that there are fast or smart ones, but it is still early.

What do you do. Socks or pants? Barricade or fight? Isolate yourself or unite with others?|||Load up with as much sensible stuff I can in the car (including seeds and a couple of goats, and a shovel. Both practical and good melee weapon. yes we have a large car), go hire a small sailboat (sailboat is important, so that you can always leave again) and take everything over to a deserted island. Big enough that it has fresh water and enough soil to grow veggies. But small enough that we will notice arrival of others. Zombies, especially slow ones, are easily fought one by one. Only in large groups are they dangerous. So the less likely you can make it that you will encounter large groups, the better.|||Option 1, assuming zombies cannot drive and use tools to break down metal doors.

best place to go: a big giant hypermarket like Tescos 24 hours with any weapon and mobile phone, netbook and charger. The carparks for hypermarkets are riddiculously huge, and they are usually out of city area and poorly populated and it will take zombies at least a few months to walk to areas like these(assuming zombies don't drive).

The food can last more than 3 months and up to a year if you are willing to have pot noodles and canned food for basic nutrition. The glass doors can have metallic covers behind them. Thus allowing you to lock the glass doors, and pull down the metal once you see that the situation is getting a little dangerous. Many 24 hour hypermarkets also include petrol station. Of course, lock the petrol station. Zombies should not be smart enough to break metal, just like they should not be able to drive, unless the movie director is an idiot.

Option 2 Fine, even if zombies can drive and use tools and guns and knock down metallic doors. We can still assume that zombies cannot swim.

Buy loads of canned food and some easy to grow vegetables, a few bags of soil, get any weapon available, board a ship, preferably one that can fish and a woman that is intelligent and sexually attractive who would not be dumb enough to keep silent when she got a cut/scratch/bite somewhere like those idiots in movies.

The ship can stay about a kilometre off shore. Food should last about a month if used conservatively. Once food runs out, fishing would be the main stay choice of food. Wait for other superpowers to save me. I doubt the zombies know how to operate a rocket launcher anyway.

During this time, I would use the top of the ships deck to grow crops, especially those replenishable ones(must be able to produce more bulbs/seeds than itself), and use waste and fish bones as fertiliser. If necessary, copulate with the woman to produce kids. Once the weight of the ship increased (due to fishing, crops etc) and the excess weight causes the ship to dip slightly, the excess mass can be used for land reclaimation. Thus we can start creating our own island out of nowhere.

In theory, the people on the mainland would die eventually due to a lack of energy intake.

Option 3 = If zombies can go on boats, live forever, operate weaponry, like HIMARS that can shoot 480km away making living in a ship dangerous, then:

I RATHER BE A ZOMBIE MAN!! They can ****ing use HIMARS!!|||Overpower their sense of smell by farting downwind as much as possible.|||I'd want to be frontline, except I will take great precautions not to get surrounded. The mall might sounds like a good idea at first, but once the zombies surround it, it becomes a death trap.

I'll keep in populated areas, with people, and fight the zombies to protect them. My goal is to do as much zombie casualty as possible and hopefully thus reduce the spread of the invasion until we figure better ways to deal with them.

I'd also make sure to stay current on what zombies can and cannot do, so gather intel etc. Do some psychology tests etc, see how we can exploit their lack of intelligence to fight them better. Will they walk into a trap? Will they keep going into a choke point despite us taking them out easily like that? Will they try to get out of the way of slow moving danger, like tractors, or will they just charge at you and make themselves easy fodder?|||Hit up a ‘sports store’ for a shotgun, hunting rifle, crossbow and all the ammo I can grab. Find a sharp sword or machete, head to Napa! For now Napa has a good supply of wine to keep me happy, then it is the source of some of the best farm land in CA. I can clear out the zombies, grow some pizza and hunt some boar to make pepperoni!|||Something tells me weapon stores will be empty by the time I get there. Good think I have some weapons already.

But really, nobody wants to join in to fight back and defend the population? We just assume that the fight cannot be won? I think a zombie infestation should be containable, especially if people join in rather than let the authorities do all the work.|||I will exercise my right to dual wield bear arms.

|||I’ll assume with a Zombie Apocalypse that it will be uncontainable. If there are just a few Zombies running around and it’s not highly contagious then we aren’t talking about needing to fight back. I live in a city of thousands and once the numbers turn fighting back is just an exercise in how long till I die, not if I can win.

The bigger threat comes from lack of clean water and the ability of city folks to access food. Once power stops running to the cities, and clean water stops flowing, oil stops being shipped in to be processed into power, then the city will just be a cesspool of disease. First step would be to secure clean water and land to grow food. After the basics are addressed then we can worry about clearing the zombies out of the highly dense population area which will have highly packed zombies running around.

Fortunately there are a bunch of solar companies around here, so after looting the solar plants we can make energy and find some electric cars (Tesla Plant close by too!)|||I'm not quite sure HOW I'd join in, but lets just say I would totally enjoy a zombie massacre!

I'm not quite sure where I'd start though. I guess I'd have to start small as far as weapons are concerned. Stuff like baseball bats, hockey sticks, and other hard, swingable objects. Maybe some silverware to use as throwing weapons. Even some tools, like screw drivers and hand saws.

As I travel, I'd have to find more conventional weapons, like various traffic signs, maybe a gun or two. Take some barbed wire and add it to bats and hockey sticks for more effective melee weaponry.

I'd take a car, but it would be kinda pointless, since eventually, there will either be no power to pump gas or there will be no gas to pump. I'd just have to make due with a bike or something, unless of course we had cars that didn't need electricity (via plug in) or gas to run (such as solar power or some other means)

Eventually, I'd have to find a alcoholic Russian dude, a German scientist, and a Japanese soldier, and together we can obliterate zombies everywhere...oh wait...